It was at the beginning of 2015.
We welcomed the New Year in a super smokey club McGettigan's in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, where me and Steve illegally lived together. Why illegally, you may ask? Well, because according to sharia law male and female are not allowed to coexist under one roof (unless married or related). It was working out quite alright for us, since we pretended we were married to the neigbours and building security and no questions were asked. Everyone supposed we were married. I used to wear rings anyway, so we were safe in case something happened. Little did we know that that "something" was about to happen.
Me being a responsible young woman, I used to visit a female doctor regularly even in UAE. I had this Palestinian doctor, MUDr. "Fatima Al-Something" who was always convincing me that we absolutely need to be assisted on getting pregnant, shall we decide to have kids in the future. And I believed her. I had no reason not to and Steve was pretty much OK with that because kids were nowhere in our agenda in the next coming years. Look, not that we were completely careless and stupid, we just weren't super vigilant in this matter. Until our blind trust changed the game. By the way, it was a great doctor, I strongly recommend her to all women who love a bit of a tingle in their stomach and adventure in their life... like... you know... ultimate and irreversible changes!
Needless to say that I experienced a mini stroke one "cold" (it's never really cold there) February morning. I don't really recall most of the reasons why I did the test. It had something to do with my previous gall bladder issues and as I was experiencing stomach discomfort (go figure!), I was told by an internist to get checked up at gyneacologist, as I have more fluid in my stomach and he was worried about potential cyst having burst out. So just for myself I bought a test so when my doctor asks me that routine question - "Are you pregnant?", I can routinely answer - "No, I'm not." That was as far as my thinking got. Now, you must not be surprised how I reacted when that gigantic blue fat PLUS appeared on the test, while I was brushing my teeth at 6 in the morning. I almost choked on my toothbrush. I rushed into the bedroom, switched on the light, shook Stephen and showed him my biggest life discovery! He, on the other hand, didn't quite feel the same heart failure, opened one eye - looked at the stick - closed that eye shut - switched the lamp off and went back to sleep. Yeah! You heard me! He thought it was a dream. So I shook him (vigorously, this time) again, making sure he felt an earthquake and opened his damn eyes as I shouted: "Hey yo, whatsup, I'm panicking here. Will you PLEASE join me?!"
He did :-D!
Quite rightfully, I'd say. I was 27 and he was just 26. See, back in the Middle Ages, we'd be feeling proud of becoming grandparents but we are the millenials! We don't plan for kids before 30. At least a lot of us. We belonged to that lot. For decent 2 hours we just plainly sat there, I call it a "blank period", no idea what we were doing or talking about.
After we sat there long enough, we came to the conclusion that "THIS" needs to be immediately verified by blood test. It was the time to pay an urgent visit to Dr. Fatima so we got into our Mustang (yeah, in UAE we could be those rich bastards) and drove to the clinic in the speed of light. I joked on the way and called Stephen a "daddy". If looks could kill, people....!!! Oooooffff! :D
It went all super weird at Dr. Fatima. Control urine test came out NEGATIVE. Steve did the "Chandler dance of delight" and saw himself buying the air tickets to Malawi for the summer vacation. But they also had to take my blood which was going to become the ultimate executioner of our Malawi trip. It was possibly the longest 6 hours in our life. And the result came (no surprise) POSITIVE! Very sweet and reproduction supporting Dr. Fatima smiled at us in excitement that we are going to become parents and advised us to get married (this time for real) as soon as possible in order not to get into troubles with local authorities.
It was that moment when we realized how lucky we were that this was a private clinic and not a government hospital, where they are obliged to call the police immediately when an unmarried pregnant woman sets foot in their premises. I could have easily ended up in jail, given birth in that very same place and got my child taken away from me. And probably rot there until now. So that sweet Dr. Fatima wasn't that useless in the end...
For those, who saw our hyper super romantic pictures from the wedding in Seychelles - here is the entire truth behind it. We had to get married super fast and no other authority (in UK, Slovakia, UAE, Milky Way or other galaxies) would get us married this fast with so very little documentation needed. I guess they have a decent supply chain from UAE :D.
All happened within 3 weeks with tons of stress and that's how I became a lawfully wedded Mrs. Knight! And that's also how I became 2 in 1, officially.